So to begin I want to say that I am not currently discouraged or melancholy but this is what has been on my heart for a few days. It's intensifying and I know the Heavenly Father is working on me.
I feel tugged in so many different directions: God, family, work, church/ministries, cello. Obviously, as a single girl, God is my main focus [I Corinthians 7:34]. Family is a very all-encompassing word. It includes my responsibilities as a daughter, sister, and granddaughter. Work sweeps through several spheres: being a nanny, cleaning houses, and my online shop + time to grow the shop [i.e. blogging and growing my crafting and sewing skills]. Church ministries include: the bus route [decorating, visuals, games], Junior church [different responsibilities from week to week], Master's Club [bulletin boards, lesson], and extra [flowers--helping a sweet saint maintain the flowers around the church property]. Cello--what can I say. I love playing so much but how can I grow as a cellist if I don't practice daily?
I'm not writing this post to garner sympathy, I'm just being honest. Of course, I realize that my "busy" is different than that of a student [thank goodness] or a mother. But what do I put in order for my day? Besides my personal time with the Heavenly Father, everything else seems to be on a level playing field. I obviously have to work but if my needs are provided for [Philippians 4:19] then I can spend time doing work for the Lord [read I Corinthians 7:34 again]. But I don't want to live at home forever so obviously growing my online business and crafting skills is needful.
Rachel wrote a great post on what she does in Africa. She said something that made me nod my head in agreement:
First, let me say that I am NOT at home just sitting around. There are a lot of negative connotation that can come with the term stay-at-home-daughter. Whatever your view on that (that is another whole post right there!), I can guarantee that I am not a stay-at-home-daughter that is just twiddling her thumbs waiting for the closest thing to a Prince Charming to come.
I'm not either. Just because I don't have a regular 9 to 5'er job doesn't mean that I'm painting my nails and primping my hair twice a day. Far from it!!
I am so thankful for this time of growth. I just know that when my head hits the pillow at night and I review my day, I often ask the Lord for forgiveness in not managing my time properly [bang head against my pillow]. I resolve to do better the next day. I awake and commit the day to Him but I am not perfect so of course I fail.
So, I chuckle to myself and thank the Heavenly Father for a reminder that my day is His and not mine. I will strive to do my best and see each interruption, delay, and inconvenience as an appointment from Him. I will seek His will and not my own. I will follow the Holy Spirit as He leads me through my day. I can obey. Obedience to Him will lead me properly through my day and I will grow. The Heavenly Father wants me to grow. He wants me to be perfect.
6 comments:
This reminded me of a thought I had recently while preparing to tell the Creation story to our bus children. God created the whole world in six days...He could probably help me to accomplish everything I need to each week also! And if all of what I think needs done doesn't get done, maybe I am adding more to my schedule than He wants there, or maybe I am wasting time. But, if I abide in Him, and obey, I think he can help me accomplish my menial tasks in six days since He could create the whole world in six days!
this is a great post. thanks for being so real. I'm in a similar spot: college graduate, living at home, getting my teachers certification, working part time... so often i feel like i "should" be doing more. that i should "move on" with life... but I know the Lord has called me to be at this place in my life for a specific reason and I constantly seek his comfort for my feelings of inadequacy.
sorry for the blog-length comment! Just want you to know you aren't alone. this time of growth is weird.. but necessary. :)
I enjoyed this blog post! :-) I too am in a major time of growth. It's painful sometimes, but I want to let God have free reign in my life. I love the quote how "my day is His and not mine". GREAT perspective!
Ps. I read Rachel's blog too. I'm a new reader! :-) I just "met" her over the internet since she ran into my brother in Botwswana who is doing mission work there now. Small world. And I'm also a reader of yours too!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! These have been my very thoughts the past three months. (you'll notice on my blog) Growing is SO good for us! I have learned so much about myself and what it means to be a daughter of His...giving it all to Him...trusting in Him alone. Love you sweet sister! <333
Aw, of course I don't mind if you quote me! I feel rather honored, actually. :)
I too struggle with exactly how I should always be spending my time. It seems like there are so many things - good things - that I can be involved in, but they aren't always necessarily the best things. I suppose it's a struggle everyone faces... not just us single gals. ;)
Good heartfelt post... and I'm glad I could get on to comment! Ugh... our poor internet!
Wow! Seems like we are all in the same boat here! :-) This post reminded me a lot of myself. One of the things I struggle with is pushing time in there for family, when that should be close to the top. One thing is for sure, sometimes it's easy to see ministries (decorating, piano/music, etc.) in the church as priority over family, but that's not using the ministry how the Lord wants it used. The ministry IS people! Anyway, that's something the Lord has really shown me lately. Glad to know I'm not alone in these issues as a busy single girl.
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