I've read two posts already tonight about blogging that hurts. Being truthful and being real.
So to begin I want to say that I am not currently discouraged or melancholy but this is what has been on my heart for a few days. It's intensifying and I know the Heavenly Father is working on me.
I feel tugged in so many different directions:
God, family, work, church/ministries, cello. Obviously, as a single girl,
God is my main focus [
I Corinthians 7:34].
Family is a very all-encompassing word. It includes my responsibilities as a daughter, sister, and granddaughter.
Work sweeps through several spheres: being a nanny, cleaning houses, and my online shop + time to grow the shop [i.e. blogging and growing my crafting and sewing skills].
Church ministries include: the bus route [decorating, visuals, games], Junior church [different responsibilities from week to week], Master's Club [bulletin boards, lesson], and extra [flowers--helping a sweet saint maintain the flowers around the church property].
Cello--what can I say. I love playing so much but how can I grow as a cellist if I don't practice daily?
I'm not writing this post to garner sympathy, I'm just being honest. Of course, I realize that my "busy" is different than that of a student [
thank goodness] or a mother. But what do I put in order for my day? Besides my personal time with the Heavenly Father, everything else seems to be on a level playing field. I obviously have to work but if my needs are provided for [
Philippians 4:19] then I can spend time doing work for the Lord [read I Corinthians 7:34 again]. But I don't want to live at home forever so obviously growing my online business and crafting skills is needful.
Rachel wrote a great post on what she does in Africa. She said something that made me nod my head in agreement:
First, let me say that I am NOT at home just sitting around. There are a lot of negative connotation that can come with the term stay-at-home-daughter. Whatever your view on that (that is another whole post right there!), I can guarantee that I am not a stay-at-home-daughter that is just twiddling her thumbs waiting for the closest thing to a Prince Charming to come.
I'm not either. Just because I don't have a regular 9 to 5'er job doesn't mean that I'm painting my nails and primping my hair twice a day. Far from it!!
I am so thankful for this time of growth. I just know that when my head hits the pillow at night and I review my day, I often ask the Lord for forgiveness in not managing my time properly [bang head against my pillow]. I resolve to do better the next day. I awake and commit the day to Him but I am not perfect so of course I fail.
So, I chuckle to myself and thank the Heavenly Father for a reminder that my day is His and not mine.
I will strive to do my best and see each interruption, delay, and inconvenience as an appointment from Him.
I will seek His will and not my own.
I will follow the Holy Spirit as He leads me through my day.
I can obey. Obedience to Him will lead me properly through my day and I will grow.
The Heavenly Father wants me to grow. He wants me to be perfect.