on being single

Here's the follow-up post to my multitude monday post yesterday.

On Friday night, my parents and I were chatting and weddings was one of the topics. I commented that if I ever get married, I have determined that my wedding will be focused on two things: family and thankfulness. Because I will be adding family {my husband's} and he will be adding family {mine}. And family is really important to me. The second thing I would like to focus on is thankfulness. Thankfulness to my church family and my parents for investing in my life. And most importantly, thankfulness to God. I was being funny when I said, "For sure, we will be praising the Lord because at that point, it will be an absolute miracle if I ever get married. It will just be a service filled with PRAISE that I am FINALLY getting married!" I told the girl I visit with on Saturday that it will be a regular day of Thanksgiving in the middle of the year if I get married. Maybe everyone should come dressed as Pilgrims? Haha....JOKING...of course!

Now here's a more serious part.

I have had a discussion with another single friend about praying & singleness and she understood what I was getting at. I have had this same discussion with my Mom and she has encouraged, prompted me to pray more because that is what I need to do.

So when I pray diligently about being single and getting married, I never ask the Lord for an answer to my prayer within a time table. If the prayer doesn't get answered does that mean the Lord doesn't answer prayer? Of course not! I believe that He answers three ways: yes, no, wait. But I must admit that I don't have enough faith to pray within a specific time table. So I pray, "...help thou mine unbelief." {Mark 9:24...I know the sentence before it is Lord, I believe.} Anyways, when I pray more about getting married, the guy finding me, etc...I feel like I get more anxious. This is supposed to happen and quickly because I am praying more diligently! So when no magical guy appears, I quickly become discouraged and not content with my singleness. Focus on the key words: not content. And let me say that life is so much easier, joyful when I'm content.

So I jump ship. I quit praying. Sinful, shallow me! But, I'm content, I argue!

THEN. Last week in my devotions, I read this portion of Scripture:

"...Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

But my people would not hearken to my voice; and Israel would none of me.

...And they walked in their own counsels.

Oh {love that word in the Bible; shows such emotion!} that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways!

He should have fed them also with the finest of the wheat: and with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee."

That was a major jolt for me! That is not the entire portion of Scripture in Psalm 81: 10-16 but I included what was a blessing for me. My pastor has a sermon that I've heard in the past based on verse 10. Basically, God WANTS to bless me but I'm sitting here with my mouth sewn shut because I'm CONTENT. When if I open it up in PRAYER, HE wants to FILL IT! Silly, shallow me!!!! My heart's desire is to be a wife and mother. God knows this! So why not pray this with my mouth wide open. I have pictured in my mind little baby birds just hatched, squawking, their mouths w i d e open for food.

So you can guess what I'm up to now!! I'm back to praying WITH MY MOUTH OPEN!